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| "Supporting a Grieving Friend" |
Even with fresh snow covering the ground, we were able to meet at LIFT on Wednesday, January 16. And even in the winter season, God can bring beauty.
Brenda Auker, a registered nurse and bereavement counselor, gave us some tips on how to support friends who have experienced a loss.
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| "Grief comes in many forms." |
We can experience grief from a loss of a person, a hope, dream, or something else valuable. Grief comes in many forms.
Grief can come in 4 stages according to Grieg Davidson. These stages can come in any order and at any time.
Grief is different for each person.
1.
Shock and Numbness. This is most intense the first 2 weeks. There is short attention span, denial, and surreal feelings.
2.
Searching and Yearning. This can happen from the 2nd week to the 4th month. There can be anger, guilt, weight loss or gain, difficult sleeping, and/or strange feelings.
3.
Disorientation. This can occur from the 5th to the 9th month. There may be feelings like you’re going crazy, can’t concentrate, and/or have anxiety.
4.
Reorganization and Resolution. This may happen from the 9th to 24th month (2 years!). There are feelings of release and renewed energy. Laugher and smiling can return.
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| Our Light of Hope is JESUS. |
Our society does not give us 2 years to grieve. Genesis 49 and 50 talks about the death of Jacob and details a very long time or mourning.
Do not take it personally if your friend is withdrawn from activities.
Spiritual Effects. People may question their beliefs and ask, “Am I really God’s child?” They may search for meaning and/or be angry with God. Christians can often see the work of the Holy Spirit. Grief can pull people apart or knit them together. A Christian can say to a non-Christian, “This is my experience. If you want to talk about it some time, let me know.”
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| "What do I say to my friend in grief?" |
What do I say and do for my friend in grief?
1. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
2. “I care.”
3. “I want to be there for you.”
4. “What can I do for you?” Meal, cleaning. If no, offer again later.
5. Share how you feel, “I’m feeling pain as well.”
6. Ask to look at pictures.
7. Share memories. Shared sorrow helps lift the burden.
8. You could also give something in memory of: a living plant, etc.
It’s ok to be silent and just be there for them. Listen
Hug, touch, and shed tears with them.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
As a friend, have thick skin. It’s grief talking.
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| "I'm sorry for your loss." "I care" |
Men grieve differently. They usually do not have outlets for grief like women have. Let them grieve differently than we think they should. Let them have out bursts. He should find one other man to be with. Stay connected with him.
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Thank you Judith for sharing a
beautiful display of your precious
daughter and for sharing
encouraging words. |
We have hope is Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 4: 13-17
"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.
We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
Therefore encourage each other with these words."
We Grieve with HOPE.
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| Words of hope from the Bible |
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Thank you Mindy for making pretty
cookies for each lady!! Thanks also
to each lady that contributed to our
brunch/snacks! |
